Everyone wants to feel better. Everything we do is about creating a certain feeling such as happiness, contentment, or satisfaction. Want to lose weight? Get a new job? Find the love of your life? Win a Pulitzer prize? Make a million dollars? I can almost guarantee you that what you are really after is a certain feeling. Sure, if those things happened, there would be all kinds of benefits too, but what if I told you, you didn’t need any of it to feel the way you long to feel?
You don't need any thing to feel the way you long to feel.
What if I told you all you had to do was change the way you think? Change the way you think and believe, and you will change the way you feel. Thoughts determine how you feel. Beliefs determine how you feel. Everything you’ve been looking for is already available to you right now, if you choose to change your thoughts. It really is that simple.
Now, easy is an entirely different matter.
It’s not easy.
It’s simple, but its not easy.
And what if I told you that changing the way you feel right now is the key to achieving all those things you want? See, we’ve gotten it BACKWARD. The feeling comes first, THEN the achievement. We’ve been conditioned to believe in order to be happy we must acquire a certain body shape, a certain amount of money, or a certain amount of recognition. Where did we get this idea?
From the moment we are born, at least starting in the second half of the 20th century, modern humans who have access to newspapers, magazines, books, television, radios, and more recently smartphones, laptops, computers, and tablets are inundated with the message that to feel better we must acquire something.
Did you know advertising is designed to effect behavioral change? And social media is the advertiser's wet dream. Ask any marketing expert and they’ll tell you how fantastic Facebook ad results can be, if you know how to work the system.
Because it’s possible to create a profile on each Facebook user, a profile so precise and intricate Facebook brags in “secret” negotiations (not really secret anymore) with advertisers how they can identify when its users are depressed or having their periods.
I kid you not.
In effect, you are bombarded relentlessly by targeted ad campaigns with the sole purpose to convince you that you can’t live another minute without their product or service.
How is this done?
By identifying your pain points and your pleasure points.
In essence, any business or entrepreneur worth their salt has spent money and time figuring out what you want and what you don’t want. They have used surveys and keyword data; Facebook , Google, and Amazon log and analyze your online activity, even the stuff you typed, but then deleted before you posted. Even what you send in those messenger apps. It’s all logged in a huge database and analyzed forward and backward, sideways and inside out.
Then advertisers pay top dollar to target you and your pain and your hopes and dreams so they can sell you the relief, the solution, and the euphoria.
Now that I’ve made advertisers and the people who facilitate their efforts sound like the Devil incarnate…
I DON'T think advertising is innately wrong or wicked.
I love some of the products and services I’ve discovered because of these tactics. I’ve found books and gadgets and courses that have changed my life. Really.
As an entrepreneur, I've found readers for this blog and my books with this kind of advertising, too.
But one of the negative consequences of 24/7 advertising is we ALL feel less than, inadequate, and unfulfilled because we are constantly bombarded with the message that we would be so much happier if…we bought this product or hired this coach or took this course or ate this way or exercised that way.
All our problems would go away if only we could achieve X or Y or Z and their products will help you do that.
Some of these advertisers sincerely want to help you.
Some advertisers are selling us a bad dream and calling it a short cut.
So how do we tell the difference between the real transformational opportunities and the emotional manipulation?
By figuring what it truly takes to make us happy.
And just for a moment consider: what if I'm right? and it’s a simple matter of changing the way you think?
Are you ready?
If so, I can get you started right now. No down payment required because I'm giving it to you for free. ;-)
Step 1: Stop chasing the feeling
Start creating it.
With your thoughts.
You’ve all heard about the gratitude journal, right? Start there. First thing in the morning write down 5 things you are grateful for. It can be as simple as the pillow under your head. But I also encourage you to get specific. Use descriptors and try not to repeat yourself. If you’re really stuck, don’t worry about getting it right, just do it.
Step 2: Gather proof that your life is already pretty great.
Spend your day looking for the evidence that your life is already pretty great. Look for the moments of abundance: a kind sales clerk who takes the extra time to help you with your return, the penny on the sidewalk as you walk to lunch, the convenient parking spot when you’re pressed for time, the cell phone in your hand, or the right medicine at the right time.
When you crawl into bed tonight, add this body of proof to your gratitude journal. Just make a list. Don’t worry about sentence structure or even spelling. Just write it down. As you build your body of proof that your life is full of things to be grateful for AND abundance in all it’s forms, you will begin to cultivate the feeling all those manufacturers are trying to sell you: happiness, contentment, satisfaction, or just feeling BETTER than you do right now.
You want to feel better, but you need to make it happen on your terms. I have nothing against a good product or service and I promote them shamelessly: I love my Foursigmatic Mushroom Hot Cacao and my luscious doTERRA essential oils. They spark joy and fulfill a real need in my life. But I chose them because they speak to my already abundant mindset, not because I feel I lack anything.
Step 3: Repeat Daily.
If you do this gratitude and abundance practice daily, you’ll soon be able to sort out which products and services have the right transformational experience for you because you’ll no longer be chasing a feeling. Instead, you’ll be cultivating it for yourself.
Now that’s true transformation and a short cut to feeling better right now.
Are you ready to create a life you truly love by mixing spiritual practices with hardcore science and proven psychological strategies? Then join my private Facebook group The Karma Couch Connection. We're a tribe of heart-led, spirit-fed practical souls supporting each other to not only feel better, but to embrace our true Selves and live inspired lives. CLICK HERE TO REQUEST TO JOIN MY PRIVATE FACEBOOK GROUP
**As always, any links in my post may be affiliate links which means if you click and buy, I get a few pennies to keep this blog rolling. Thanks!***