You Have to Know Yourself Before You Can Change Yourself
Sometimes, getting to know yourself is a hard, slap in the face. But it needs to be done. I spent the last 4 days trying not to complain and whoa! I have been very tempted to judge myself as a Negative Nellie.
You really need to read this post HERE-->What's In Your Cup? for context.
Okay, now you can proceed.
Not complaining? For 4 days? This. Was. Hard!!! I am so blown away by how often I went down the complaint rabbit hole. Now, I could look at this as some sort of mark against me. “Oh, Melissa, this is bad. You’re not as positive as you thought you were.”
But that road leads to self-flagellation and feeling cruddy. I am NOT in the mood for that kind of nonsense and I certainly don’t see anything productive in once again judging myself so harshly. That train has left the station.
Another option is to look at the bright side: I’m more aware of my thoughts and habits around complaining than I was 5 days ago. And any gain in self-awareness is a plus.
Because we can’t do anything about the things we aren’t aware of.
Now that I’m more aware, I have choices to make. Like, what am I going to do about this complaining? If anything?
I’ve decided to continue the non-complaining challenge over the next 26 days (see the article that sparked this conversation for me HERE--> This Is What Happened When I Stopped Complaining for 30 days). Whenever I find myself complaining I’m going to reframe the situation and tell a new story to myself that is less judgmental and more compassionate and kind.
Keep in mind that we shouldn’t expect perfection from ourselves. Complaining probably comes as natural to most of us as breathing, and we are not “wrong” or “bad” for it.
This entire exercise is about figuring out how to feel better more often. That’s it. It is NOT about finding one more thing to condemn myself over.
We are not only ALLOWED to be the wonderful imperfect human beings that we are but we have a moral OBLIGATION to be ourselves! There’s no one on this planet quite like you and I believe that’s on purpose. You are meant to be right here, right now, exactly as you are.
And what I learned the last few days is how my complaints and judgments affect ME: they drag my mood down. They lower my vibration. So, was the guy blocking the carts at the grocery store being inconsiderate? Sure. But I honestly think he wasn’t doing it on purpose so why be mad at him? Why disturb my peace?
Because seriously, a simple “Excuse me” solved the problem.
I guess in the end we have to ask ourselves, “Is making and holding this judgment/criticism/complaint/sense-of-injustice harming me or helping me?” Why is that important? Because your mission on earth is to be the most authentic and best YOU you can be. And harming yourself doesn’t help you achieve that, now does it?
Tapping helped me reduce my reactions and actually uncover the underlying reasons I was complaining in the first place. I have a lot more work to do on this and I suspect it will be a lifelong process. Check out The Tapping Solution and Nick Ortner for more about that.
Oh, and Wild Orange, Frankincense, and Peppermint essential oils are fantastic for helping to shift your thought patterns and energy. I mixed Wild Orange and Peppermint in my diffuser during the day, and Frankincense and Wild Orange at night. You could also mix up a couple roller bottles with those two combinations and take them with you.
If you are trying to empty your cup and refill it with more positive vibes, let me know how you're doing in the comments! Let's support each other on this journey. <3
If you want and need even more support, join my tribe on Facebook The Essentials for Living a High Vibe Life, follow my author page Author Melissa Lummis, and make sure to click that Subscribe button up above this post to get notified every time I post.
PS If you’re into Tarot, I’m doing a Facebook live Tarot reading for a few lucky attendees over on my author page today at 1:30 pm EDT. Click HERE-->You Have Spoken! to get the low down and make sure you watch this video HERE-->More About the Live Tarot Readings to get insider tips on how to be picked for a reading.
Enjoy your weekend and be extra kind to yourself, too.
Much love and light!